I've been busy. Like forget to eat dinner because I have too much on my mind busy. It's funny how that doesn't feel like an admission of guilt, but a accomplishment. The truth is, I crave to be busy. Sitting still is torture for me (just ask anyone I work with). If I don't have something to do I walk around the office to find something. As a millennial, it's a common trait. We are constantly over stimulated and rarely bored. But here is what I have realize in the past few weeks: being busy gets in the way of my emotional well being.
When I throw myself into a 100 different things, it's easy to avoid my time with God. It's even easier to justify it because all the things that are filling my time are productive (well, not my Netflix addiction but most things). One of the enemy's biggest weapons in our lives is busyness. We feel good about ourselves with all the noise and to do lists but before we know it we are so busy that we don't know how to be still.
You see, busyness doesn't have time for emotions. This works out perfectly for me when life gets hard. My work benefits from it, my commitments benefit from it. But when times are tough, that's when I realize I'm "too busy" to wake up 30 minutes earlier and write or "too busy" to spend time with God. The first thing to go in my busyness, is my peace. God calls us to be still and to come away with Him. Yet it is more comfortable for many of us to run into more work and commitments.
We are lovers of instant gratification. A job well done, a status update, we like knowing how we are doing in life and we like to know instantly. But we don't always get that instant gratification with being still with the Lord. In fact, that's the whole point - we aren't spending time with God to get instant affirmation about daily tasks, we are spending time with Him to get to know Him. So when it comes time to decide between something productive that gives you a sense of accomplishment and a chance to sit and just listen, which would you choose?
For me the past few months, it's been accomplishments every single time. And I've felt great about it. Until those accomplishments couldn't comfort me. Until my hard work couldn't teach me why my Grandmother was diagnosed with terminal Leukemia. Until my many to dos couldn't distract me from the fact that my dad is still dealing with excruciating pain from his burn accident 8 months later. That's when I craved comfort and understanding from our God. The constant one. The best part, He says "come on over, I've been waiting, and I'm excited to hang out with you, it's been a while." Well at least, that's how He sounds to me.
I'm writing this to encourage whoever is reading this that has felt like taking a moment to just be, is a waste of time. It looks different for everyone but waking up 30 minutes early to write, read, listen to a podcast, listen to music, draw, or whatever it is that causes you to sit still and reflect, I encourage you to put it first. Running on empty is a road to being burnt out and all the accomplishments in the world can't refuel you emotionally. Busyness isn't a goal it's just a byproduct of life. It's not a bad thing, but when it's something we are working towards, it's a slippery slope.
Here is the Jesus Calling for today because God has a sense of humor and knew I was already writing about this topic:
COME AWAY WITH ME for a while. The world, with its nonstop demands, can be put on hold. Most people put Me on hold, rationalizing that someday they will find time to focus on Me. But the longer people push Me into the background of their lives, the harder it is for them to find Me. You live among people who glorify busyness; they have made time a tyrant that controls their lives. Even those who know Me as Savior tend to march to the tempo of the world. They have bought into the illusion that more is always better: more meetings, more programs, more activity.
I have called you to follow Me on a solitary path, making time alone with Me your highest priority and deepest Joy. It is a pathway largely unappreciated and often despised. However, you have chosen the better thing, which will never be taken away from you. Moreover, as you walk close to Me, I can bless others through you.